英语笑话20120512

时间: 2012-05-12 / 分类: 英语学习 / 浏览次数: 928 views / 3个评论 发表评论

1、医生懂得多

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: “I think that he is very ill.”
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”
“I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor.
医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I”m not dead. I”m still alive.”
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”
“Be quiet, ” said the wife. “the doctor knows better than you!”
妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”

 

2、林肯过生日

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? 
老师:1809年发生了什么重大事件?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
小威利:亚伯拉罕·林肯诞生。
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
老师:正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
小威利:亚伯拉罕·林肯过他的三周岁生日。

 

3、马上就有了

Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive. 
我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的爱好。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了.

 

4、入口

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! 
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:大减价!特便宜!
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:大砍价!大折扣!
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:入口处。

 

5、强力安眠药

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didn’t have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。
That’s fine, roared the boss, but where were you Monday and Tuesday?
好啊!老板吼道,那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?



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上面是广告! 真的是广告!! 真的真的啊!!!

  1. 我也刚听了俩个笑话讲给你
    1.公司开会,员工一排一排坐着,突然一个男士鼻子痒痒忍不住打了一个大大的喷嚏,爽过之后一看大事不好,鼻涕喷到了前排女生的背上,该男生急中生智伸手到MM背上打算把鼻涕擦下来,不料旁边的另一位女生看到了他的动作,大叫:“怎么这么缺德,把鼻涕擦别人衣服上!”该男生无语。哇哈哈。。。
    2.一学生:“老师,三点水加一个来去的来读什么音?”
    老师:“。。。这个应该还是读‘来’吧。。。”
    学生:”那三点水加一个来去的去读什么音?”
    老师:“这个还读‘去’吗?这个字好像很生僻,我回去查字典再告诉你”
    哇哈哈,这老师。。。。

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